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#25 Embrace Your Enoughness: Setting Boundaries with Krista Resnick

boundaries Jun 30, 2020
 

This week I am so excited to welcome special guest Krista Resnick.  She is a leadership expert, speaker and podcaster who teaches women how to rise in all aspects of themselves.  She is the creator/founder of The Selfish Badass Movement where she helps women practice the Art of Radical Soul Care and Self Leadership.  Krista teaches women entrepreneurs, leaders and visionaries to put themselves on the front burner of life by aligning with their purpose and grounding themselves in their vision so that they can rise without compromise.

In this episode you will learn:

  1. How to define radical self-care (and why it’s so important)
  2. How to shift your mindset about boundaries and embrace your self-worth (I told you we are diving deep!)
  3. Action steps to start setting boundaries today

 

In this episode we get to take a deep dive with Krista, who highlights some of the questions you might never have asked yourself about why it's so hard to set boundaries.  Why is it so hard to ask for what we want and need?

Radical Self-Care

Krista talks about how self-care is so much more than just bubble baths and manicures.  Those things are awesome, but there is so much more to the topic of self-care.  She views it as a “deep spiritual practice.”  

Krista: "when I talk about self-care what I'm really referring to is this deep spiritual practice of what are you building your life. Is it sustainable? Are you living and owning your purpose? Your calling your assignment every day? Because that is where life satiation comes from: satisfaction, fulfillment, joy, bliss, happiness. I mean, shall I go on with some of those juicy words, right? I mean, that's really where it comes from. That's how we're able to prioritize, to set boundaries and to live a delicious life."

 

What is your assignment?  In life? As an entrepreneur?

Krista talks about your purpose in life in terms of it being your “assignment.”  I loved this idea, because I’m an instructor (and nerd) and assignments make so much sense to me.  I can think of my life’s purpose as an assignment that I would like to get an “A” on! 

Krista: "I think people get caught up in this idea that this purpose has to be this grandiose, big thing. And we have to spend our lives searching for it ....your purpose is something that you're born with. It's something that's part of your DNA, you can't not not do it. It's just within you."

 

Boundaries:  What are You Available For?

Krista talks about how boundaries are all a reflection of our self-worth.  So, to better understand how to set boundaries Krista says you need to ask yourself, “What are you available for?” 

Krista: "Boundaries are actually a reflection of our self-worth... what it comes down to is why are we not setting the boundary in the first place? Why are we tolerating, why are we allowing? Why are we choosing?.... What are what are you available for?"

 

Krista: "I think people get confused because they think boundaries are this wall that we're building to keep people out. When in fact, boundaries are so loving. They're all about self love. They're all about loving the other person on the other end of the boundary. They're really all about love... I have a purpose and therefore what it's going to take for me to live into that and own that are some boundaries. What am I available for?"

 

Why is it so hard for us to set boundaries?

Krista: "...we don't really value and understand our worth. We don't really think at the end of the day that we are enough full stop, period. At the end of the day, it's fun to talk about some of those things, but people really are not owning and living their worthiness. They are not owning and living their value and their enoughness. We need to move from our heads to knowing to the owning and living and that's all the deeper work that I do. It's fun to talk about some of these things, but we really need to own and live into some of these concepts. And that really comes from building this foundation of knowing your purpose, knowing your calling, and knowing that when you look In the mirror, you see something amazing. Your worthiness is your birthright full stop. And until you can really live and own that, you're probably always going to be somebody that struggles with boundaries, because you're just not able to own your voice, Own your worth. Own your value...I think there's great comfort in that because now. Now we're clear on it. Now we actually have some understanding and some awareness around it. So now we get to choose, what am I going to do about this?"

 

Krista: "You have the answers within you. You actually are that powerful of a human being. But we value mental intelligence more than spiritual intelligence. We value what everybody else has to say. What do the experts have to say about this? And so yes, there's a time to gather information... I want to gain some information, but then there's a time to shut down what the experts say once I've gathered the information and go, 'What do I say? What do I say about this? what feels good, what feels right to me?'"

 

Take action to Set Boundaries

Krista has some great tips to help you get started with boundaries.

  1. Write down all the parts of your life:  relationship with self, romance/love relationships, health/wellness, friendships/social, environment, career.  Here is a link to Life Balance Wheel I talked about at the end of the podcast and to Episode #6 if you want to know more.
  2. Look at each area: where in this area am I frustrated or depleted?  This will give you some awareness about where you might want to set boundaries.
  3. Based on these answers: What new boundaries am I committing to? What boundaries do I need to re-establish?
  4. My favorite question: What am I available for?

 

How do I cut myself off from toxic friendships?

Krista: "...look at the areas of your friendships and your social life. You got to make some choices. If you really want to be the woman in your vision, you're going to have to make some choices about what you're available for in in all of these areas. But one of the areas is who you're spending time with. Write Are you available for gossip? Are you available for drama? Are you available for someone always telling you how it's going to be? And never valuing your opinion?....And remembering that you always, always, always, always have the power to choose."

 

Connect with Krista Resnick - website

Get her freebie <HERE>  Selfish is the New Black, Why Self Care is Mandatory in Today's Busy World

Check out her podcast, The Selfish Badass

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